Armbands Diptych
- Stephen Lott
- 2d
- 2 min read
by Stephen Lott
I
Mum’s technique was to inflate them both first.
She would then pull them up my puny arms.
Friction burnt my skin as she pulled harder.
Dad would put them on uninflated and
blow them up in place. I could sense the air
pressing on the hump of the tiny bicep.
A parody of a gunslinger, I
walked to the pool, incapable of
getting either of my arms down to my side.
They were not quite as useless in water.
At least now I could float freely, bobbing,
unable to touch the bottom of the pool.
I could approximate a half-hearted
breaststroke, but could not raise my arms enough,
not even to manage a limp front crawl.
Over time, it got easier to produce a
stroke. I hadn’t noticed that they had stopped
filling the armbands quite so full of air.
One day, I stood and waited for the bands
to be scraped on, but mum just smiled
and said I did not need them anymore.
Standing at the water’s edge was a nerve-
wracking moment. I hoped to share her
confidence, but wanted my bands back.
I sat and dangled feet in the water.
I stared at the black tile cross on
the bottom, took a deep breath and flopped in.
I spent a few moments toeing the tiles,
summoning the courage to push off and
swim freely. And when I did, it felt great.
I often look back on that old memory,
and realise how many times they helped
me with my armbands.
II
The difficult days are the easy ones.
Then, I simply reach for the blister pack
and pop a pill. Brain balance restored.
At least now I can function, floating in
the frenzied currents and eddies of those
who find no difficulty in swimming.
The easy days are the difficult ones.
I set pills aside, thinking I don’t need them.
All too soon I spill out, my world in chaos.
The effort of staying afloat over-
whelms me. Flat-footed, the water begins
to circle my mouth and drain into my lungs.
On days like these, I try to remember
the burning scrapes up my arms and the breath
willingly leant to me that kept me buoyant.
***
Steve is UK based and a teacher with a passion for poetry. When not writing, you are likely to find him at poetry events or in bookshops. Whilst all poetry is of interest, current favourites are Rudy Francisco and Patience Agbabi.