Must I Feel It All

by Carolyn Chilton Casas

Image credit: Rhamely on Unsplash

The more I age, it seems to me

my mission here is to feel

it all with equanimity.                 

Not push away the pain

or tuck what brings 

discomfort down inside.

My whole self shrinks

from the idea of willingly

letting in the sorrows of life.       

My heart appeals, build

a strong seawall to protect me

from the waves of hurt.

My head exclaims, wait,

remember we can numb

ourselves—mindless eating,

reading, watching TV

late into the night

until we succumb to sleep.

My body weighs in, I vote against

looking for sedation in a bottle,                                 

we’ve seen where that can lead.

I console them, okay friends,

let me see what I can do.

Palms resting humbly

over my heart space,

God, once again, could you

help me through this one?

***

Carolyn Chilton Casas

Carolyn Chilton Casas is a practicing Reiki master and teacher who often explores ways of healing in the articles she writes for energy and wellness magazines in several countries. Her poetry has been published in numerous journals and anthologies, including The Wonder of Small Things: Poems of Peace and Renewal and Thin Spaces & Sacred Spaces. More of Carolyn’s work can be found on Facebook or Instagram and in her newest collection of poetry Under the Same Sky.