Surrender

by Janet Shlaes

Image credit: Darius Bashar on Unsplash

I’ve journeyed through many lives,

roles, responsibilities, identities.

Some eagerly embraced with joy and pleasure

until their expiration dates passed

and they were lovingly or grudgingly released.

Some clung to with fear and shame.

Well-groomed, tense, smiling woman 

shackled to a perfumed corpse,

putrid odours infusing everything.

Skillfully evading whispers of discontent

until they became shouts too powerful to ignore.

Clinging to an expired life

Fooling no one, except perhaps myself

for a moment, or two, or three,

but not really

I’ve journeyed through many lives,

roles, responsibilities, identities.

Driven by an inner force

Beyond comprehension.

Beyond volition.

Beyond resistance.

A force refusing to be ignored

no matter how hard I tried.

Permeating every cell of my being

Demanding forward momentum

Demanding complete surrender

Demanding.

Complete.

Surrender.

First, cautiously immersing one toe 

Then, reluctantly, a limb or two

Finally, eagerly vaulting into the mystery.

Complete.

Surrender.

Sweet grace enters and

nourishes my ravenous soul

Sweet grace enters

Invisible facades lift 

Revealing everything

that was always there

hidden in plain sight

Revealing.

Everything.

***

Janet Shlaes

Janet Shlaes, Ph.D., MBA, MA, ACC, is a catalyst for personal, leadership, and career transformation. She has held senior leadership roles in a variety of financial, non profit, and academic healthcare arenas, designing, creating, and leading new areas. Janet is passionate about hiking, writing, creating empowering leadership retreats, and especially writing poems and haikus that express the realities of living in transitional spaces.