The Starting Point

by Sonia Bhojani

I look at the tiny little girl 

In the photos, red-faced and 

Image credit: Eilis Garvey on Unsplash

Six pounds, an etched frown 

Swathed in hospital white

I look at the smiling baby 

A body with happy little rolls 

Soft tufts of black feathers 

Adorning her head as a crown

I look at the waiflike frame of 

A six-year-old child, too 

Tanned from hours in the 

Burning Florida sunshine 

When did you become who you are? 

When did you convince yourself 

That you were not beautiful? 

When did your admiration turn 

Into a well of darkened self-hatred? 

When did you resolve to 

Cause your own hurt? 

When did your body start to betray you? 

When did you lose your grasp 

On what was real? 

When did she become me?

Was it written that way from the start? 

When I look at that girl, my heart swells 

Not for myself, but as if I were a stranger 

An unfamiliar child, unaware of the 

Wretched agony the world would bring 

I look at her as if she were a teardrop soul, 

I look at her as if she were born innocent 

With time past comes bittersweet feelings, 

And her now being in my likeness stings 

***

Sonia Bhojani

Sonia Bhojani is a soon-to-be NYU graduate who adores writing in all its forms! She is a practicing poet and screenwriter and is currently working on her first book, a lesbian thriller novel. You can find her work highlighted on instagram, @soniabh05.