With a Mother's Precision,

by Jenny Morelli

Image credit: Matt Hoffman on Unsplash

Mom would line us up

along the blue metal cabinets

and shove a sandwich corner

into each of our small mouths

one after another, and we’d chew

rapidly while she continued

passing it down the line

so that we’d be ready for another

bite when that sandwich came

around again. With a mother’s

precision,

she’d brush the tangles

from our hair until knots

fell from our heads like spiders.

With a mother’s precision,

she'd march us outside to climb

high up onto the deck of the pirate ship

to scream and dance for neighbors

far and wide to hear Mom shush us,

called us back inside to deliver

a super-stern warning.

With a mother’s precision,

Mom eavesdropped on Dad

through the locked bedroom door

while he carried on phone conversations

filled with infidelity

before filing for a divorce

and full custody of three kids

she could barely afford

on her own.

With a mother’s precision,

Mom hid her tears

behind the laundry room door,

crushed by the burden

she thought was hers alone

the day her twin sister’s body

was found in the nearby woods

hefting the burden of her failure

to save the most important person

in her life. With a mother’s precision,

Mom smiled her sunshine

through the pocket of clouds

heavy and thick with her devastation

because life had to go on

for her survival and ours,

because in time, grief subsides

and life is ephemeral.

With a mother’s precision,

Mom fought against her forgetfulness,

carefully carving into the air long after she forgot her own name

her nubby fingerstrokes

the three letters of her sister’s name

A N N as if promising

she’ll be with her again soon.

Phantom, flighty finger-swoops.

Soon.

***

Jenny Morelli

Jenny Morelli is a high school English teacher who lives in New Jersey with her husband and cat. She is often either inspired by her students or else they're triggering memories in her of when she was young and struggling with her self-confidence. She has been published in a number of literary magazines, including Spare Parts for a novel excerpt, Spillwords for several themed poems, and Bottlecap Press for her own chapbook This is Not a Drill.