A Year Away From 40

by Thomas Beckwith

Image credit: DFY® 디에프와이 on Unsplash

Most days you’re just a passive rider in life.

Your favorite poem when you were a kid was “A Dream Deferred.”

You grew up in a place where there was no future.

            You grew up in a place where dreams were deterred.

You have lived long enough to have no kids and not be married.

            You have a job and car, but do not have much

                        else of your own.

You have a passport, but can count the number of times,

you have left the country.

You’re educated and a US citizen, yet you feel like

            an immigrant in your own birth country.

You live in a system and are surrounded by people

            who rarely listens.

Often, you’re left feeling ostracized,

            wondering if you made the right life decisions.

Reminders of the past are triggers.

            You’re not rotting away in a jail cell,

but a prisoner to grief from the past.

You’re not wallowing in self-pity.

            Life is just hard when you are not granted

                        the same opportunities.

You’re educated with a job and car, but do not have much

                        else of your own.

I am not rotting away in a jail cell,

                                                but I am considered a failure.

***

Thomas Beckwith

Thomas Beckwith is an Assistant Director for the University of Florida’s Office of Academic Support, where he provides support to students including academic coaching, leadership development, and holistic success planning. He also enjoys writing in his authentic voice, finding it to be a therapeutic way to process experiences and overcome past trauma.