Paint My Own Canvas

by A.S. Winters

Image credit: Paul Blenkhorn on Unsplash

I see shadows 

out of the corner of my eye. 

They follow me 

wherever I go, with no escape. 

The shadows come from inside 

my house, which has been invaded

by strangers

who’ve actually been there all along. 

I only notice them gradually, 

bit-by-bit, like a painting

slowly being created, soft strokes 

of paint outlining the bold and ugly colours. 

They stain me

like blood. 

I cannot paint over their portraits,

but I can paint my own canvas. 

Because my heart may be home

to a collection of shadows, 

but that means I exist in the light,

using it to guide me wherever I go.

I will not let my life

be controlled by shadows. 

I will fight hard to keep the light inside 

and create my own spot in the sun. 

***

A.S. Winters

A.S.Winters is an upcoming 22-year-old writer, as well as a Tutor, Sales Assistant, Volunteer and an English Literature and Creative Writing student, currently completing her third year at Lancaster University. She largely writes about mental health, identity, loss, grief, social issues, romantic love, friendship, family, and politics and has had over 40 poems, 24 articles, 14 blog posts, 5 pieces of short fiction and 16 social media posts for Mental Health Notebook published. She is currently working on her debut novel, a historical, sapphic book set in 1950s Liverpool, which she hopes to publish in the next year or so. She aspires to be an educator, foster carer and high-profile writer one day.