Who's That Girl?

by Liz deBeer

In the attic, Jess pulls open a bin stuffed with Mom’s things, searching for an ‘80s costume party outfit, maybe a neon leotard with matching leg warmers, but instead finds an empty bottle of Jean-Nate-After-Bath-Splash, a cracked Avon make-up mirror, and Simplicity sewing patterns, all several sizes smaller than Mom’s worn in years. 

Image credit: Amanda Morales on Unsplash

Just junk. 

Next bin: Stacks of Seventeen Magazines, yellowing paperbacks — and Mom’s yearbooks. Jess sits cross-legged on the dusty floor, flipping through photos of student council, football players, cheerleaders, smokers in a courtyard, and girls in bathing suits posing around a pool. One girl, holding a sign: “Shore View Synchronized Swimming 1980.”

Jess scrunches her face, leaning in: Her mother’s name is in black and white, but she can’t recognize the confident, beaming, poised girl in the center. Tracing the faded image with her finger, she wonders, What the hell happened? How’d this swim nymph morph into an old woman with eyes bulging, skin sagging, head hanging, like an albino frog?

She thumps to the living room, holding the yearbook in front of Mom, who’s slumped on the sofa, staring at the television. Jess points to the Synchronized Swim spread; Mom’s head jerks up. “What’s this? Where’d you—?”

“Mom! You were a swimming star?”

“Was long ago,” she murmurs, reaching to shut the yearbook. 

Their eyes lock. “C’mon, Mom—”

She shakes her head.

Jess huffs, dropping to the couch’s armrest while scrolling on her phone ‘til she finds an Olympic Synchro reel, then watches glittering girls move together: arms, legs, heads. 

“That’s a pinwheel,” Mom says, leaning toward Jess. “And they’re sculling, like this.” She moves her hands to demonstrate, while humming with the music. 

Jess, ‘80s costume forgotten, looks into Mom’s eyes, searching for the girl left behind.

***

Liz deBeer

Liz deBeer is a teacher and writer with Project Write Now, a writing cooperative based in New Jersey. Her flash has appeared in BULL, Fictive Dream, Bending Genres and others, including as a WOW flash runner-up. She has written essays in various journals including Brevity Blog, and is a volunteer reader for Flash Fiction Magazine. She holds degrees from University of Pennsylvania and Rutgers University. Follow Liz at http://www.ldebeerwriter.com/ and https://lizardstale.substack.com. Social Media Links: www.instagram.com/lizdebeerwriter https://www.linkedin.com/in/lizdebeer https://bsky.app/profile/lizdebeerwriter.bsky.social